Girls' Night In

[KOIZUMI SAKURA]

Sakura didn’t often talk of her family situation, even to Matsumi she didn’t say a lot. After all, she fought cancer back in the day and she didn’t know the girl or anyone for that matter. Her family wanted to keep that a secret and she didn’t know why. Sure, she might have a more fragile health because of that but she shouldn’t be kept hidden from the world no? She wanted to discover what it had to offer and so far everyone was being nice to her. She doubted they’d put her to shame knowing what she went through. She decided not to say much about it unless the conversation led to that. She could trust Matsumi with this since she doubted the girl would spread it around. Only the people that mattered knew about it.

She didn’t feel spoiled when Matsumi spoke. Of course, love stories would often end well. It was the point of watching and reading them. They sure made their characters go through various situations and they seemed to enjoy getting two different people to fall from each other but she did think that sometimes, it was what you had in common that brought you two closer. She did think that she had a few similarities with Ichiro while she tended to want more adventures than he did.

“That is true.” She said, agreeing with Matsumi there. “They need to show it to us. I don’t think I could read someone stoic all the time.” Ichiro was sort of similar to that too. “I want to feel as if I am important and not just part of a deal.”

[KIMURA MATSUMI]

Sakura was living a similar romance it seemed. There were a few serious guys at school, but Matsumi felt they went for the most serious ones, the ones that didn't know how to have fun unless it involved a good book and some peace and quiet. Boys who dared not make the first move or seemed to backtrack after every time they made one, regardless of it working or not.

"I'm not used to it," she admitted, regarding stoic people. She had never been with someone like that before Osamu. "I struggle to know what he's thinking most of time. And every time I think I know, he then does something that makes me question it." That guy was blowing hot and then cold so fast, Matsumi wasn't sure what to make of it. He'd be nice then formal to the point of sounding distant. He'd appear uncomfortable with her getting closer and then offer to carry her books. He'd invite her over but tell her to wait because he was not ready. It was all very confusing.

Sakura suddeny became confusing too. "A deal?" She had little knowledge about her relationship with Ichiro. She understood Sakura liked the guy and thought he liked her too, but was not always sure. They really were in a similar situation. Except about that deal part. She wondered what that was about.

[KOIZUMI SAKURA]

Sakura enjoyed watching the show so far and understood why Matsumi brought that. They could both relate to it since they went for similar boys. She knew of Fujiwara-san, he was similar to Ichiro in many ways and they could both talk about their other parts. If only it wasn’t as confusing to be with someone. She didn’t want to be kept hidden in the dark and wanted to be shown some signs of affection. While she believed that Ichiro cared for her she wondered if he knew how to show it. Their date at the aquarium had been nice. Though, was it enough? Was she being too demanding when it came to this? She’d have to ask for Matsumi’s opinion on the matter.

She nodded knowing what Matsumi said there. “I know it can be hard sometimes, they hardly show their emotions.” She said with a sigh also referring to Ichiro. “They only focus on their duties for their families and it makes us wonder if we are any important for them.” It hurt sometimes when she questioned herself over the matter.

Oh right, Matsumi might not be used to the concept of arranged marriage. “We originally started with an arranged marriage. Then my physical condition couldn’t allow it and my parents decided it was best to cancel it off and arrange it with my sister instead… but Fukuda-kun went to talk to my parents so we could be arranged again.” She said not trying to say too much about Hanami running away or the fact that she had Leukemia.

[KIMURA MATSUMI]

Matsumi wasn't sure Osamu was all about family duties, but she figured Sakura used that term because it was what she had to deal with Ichiro. Then again, Osamu did tell her he had issues he needed to fix wih his parents first, so maybe it was the appropriate term for him also. She nodded firmly though, agreeing the two of them didn't show their emotions. Every now and then, she got an outburst of them from him, but he tended to refrain himself from being too expressive at all times. She didn't get why. She was not holding back so surely he should know it would be fine for him to share more with her, she would not judge him for that.

"That's true," she agreed. Were all guys at school that difficult? "I don't doubt he has some feelings for me, but I'm not always certain, if forced to make a choice, that he would pick me. Or point out there is no reason to choose between anything here." It was complicated because Matsumi felt like she didn't know the full story and so could only speculate. That didn't change the fact she worried he'd date her but only if his family could never be made aware of it. She didn't want that. Well, she'd love dating him at last, and might appreciate it for a while, but she also didn't want to be a secret. That would make her feel like there was something wrong with her, that she was too shameful to be seen around in public. He was not a celebrity who needed to hide his personal life, and even in those cases, their families and friends were aware.

Matsumi was aware that a few people at school were in an arranged marriage. They were meant to marry after university, along with getting a job secured and everything. She was not aware it was also the case for Sakura and Ichiro. She frowned though. Not just because Sakura said they used to be engaged, but that she then got too sick and he got engaged to her sister. It was the first time Matsumi heard of those three things about Sakura, that was a lot of information. And she also wondered why it was the first time she heard about it.

Trying to piece the information together, Matsumi was under the impression she was meant to marry Ichiro, then got sick and her parents didn't want to lose the benefits of a union between the two families so suggest her sister instead and he convinced them otherwise. She wanted to know about that physical condition and if Sakura was fine now, but she also felt like Sakura was being vague here on purpose. "Isn't it a proof that he likes you if he told your parents he would marry you?" Then again, it was a proof to her parents maybe, but not something told to her. Or maybe he just never liked her sister and preferred Sakura out of the two. "You wish he had proposed to you?" It felt so weird that people their age could propose. She didn't know how she would react if Osamu did that. "You think he's saying that if he has to marry someone in your family, he'd rather it be you, not that of all girls around, he wants you?" She was trying to understand her friend's situation. It sounded way more complicated than the plot of the show they were watching right now.